Oh god. Where do I start?
I don’t even know how to say this. I don’t know what to do.
Jamie’s wife died. Helen is dead.
She was in an accident yesterday morning. She was hit by one of those big oil tanker truck things while driving their little girl to school. From what I can gather she was killed outright. The little girl, Beth, she’s in hospital. I’ve heard she’s not too badly hurt but things are complicated because of her disabilities. J has been there with her since it happened.
The police came to work yesterday morning. I was in the hall with Ben when they arrived but we didn’t hear what they said. Then I heard J say, “No that can’t be right…’ He just kept saying, “No, no, no,” his face white with disbelief, his eyes closed like if he didn’t look at the police then it couldn’t be true.
Ben and I cautiously approached them. J turned to me, his face a picture of anguish.
“They said Helen is dead,” he told us. “Helen can’t be dead.”
He went with the police to the hospital and as far as I know he’s been there ever since. We all feel so useless, but we’re doing what we can. No one’s expecting him back at work for a long time. How do you ever return to normality after something like this? I can’t even imagine it.
I want more than anything to go over to the hospital and keep him company, but I don’t think it would be right. I want to be near him but it’s not my place. I’ve heard he has a small family, just one brother and sister, and both his parents are still around. I hope they’re with him. I hope he’s not alone. When Mum died, I was surrounded by people and it really helped – I couldn’t have coped without them, especially Lucy. I hope Jamie has that kind of support. I think tomorrow I’ll talk to Ben and see if he thinks there’s anything we can do to help.
The kids did something really sweet this afternoon – they all clubbed together and got a really lovely card for J. Lisa and I were crying when we read what they’d written in there. They may be unruly little sods and right little tearaways – that’s why they’re in residential care after all – but they’ve got big hearts, bless them.
Now I feel like crying again so I’m going to have a bath and go to bed.